Change

I changed some light bulbs last night. That may not seem like a very wonderful thing, but to me, it’s the chore I loathe the most. For weeks now, I’ve been living in darkness, trying to find the motivation to change those darn bulbs. Yesterday, I boldly walked into the hardware store and when the clerk asked if he could help me find something, I handed him my gladware container filled with various odd sized light bulbs. He inspected them carefully and helped me find the right size. Before I attempted the chore, I fessed to friends that I would finally be rejoining the world of electricity and finally changing the bulbs. I think a few of them may have cheered at this small, but memorable feat for me. Or perhaps they were cheering that the mood lighting of candles would no longer be mandatory when I host them.

So last night there I was, I bravely removed the glass dome, hands shaking as I imagined the dome crashing to the floor, sending shards of glass everywhere. I pictured the delicate bulbs shattered at my ungentle touch. Fortunately, no glass broke. And when I tested the first set of new light bulbs on my chandelier, the light glistened reflecting off of everything. Then, onto my next light, I realized, two of the four new bulbs didn’t work. I hadn't notice at first, but once I realized the difficulty, I could not stop staring. Isn’t that just like life, I thought, you finally muster up the courage to tackle something and it isn’t at all like you pictured it?

I suppose I’ll have to call an electrician because the wiring is faulty or something. If I had known that, I may have never bought the bulbs in the first place. Or at the very least, I would have asked him to change them. The teacher in me lectures through this idea, at least I had the opportunity to step up and try it. But, the failed student in me is sad that my project failed to illuminate.

How we deal with our fear of change says a lot about our integrity as leaders. We can choose to live in darkness, never thinking to change the light bulb. We can acknowledge the burnt out lights, maybe even buy new bulbs, but never muster the courage to change. Or, we can climb the step ladder, remove the dead bulb and fill it with a fresh new bulb that shines brightly. Not every change will take, we run into problems and technical issues along the way. But, taking the step towards a brighter tomorrow is never the wrong answer. Attempting to change the bulb is better than living in darkness any day.

Spa, christian leadership, support

Yesterday the female staff at Trinity treated me to a day of pampering and prayer. These women have been watching me grow for the last few years as a leader. Their encouragement and investment in me is priceless. I have been so abundantly blessed by Linda Bailey, my team of volunteers, and the other staffers at Trinity. If God can do this for me, the one who is to be serving, I can only imagine what He will do in the lives of those who are broken and hurting.

As a result, here are my thoughts as a young leader on what "baby ministers" need:
1) Doubt: I doubt my call to ministry almost daily. I'm getting better about this, but Satan has a strong foothold on doubt and fear in young leaders. The average 20 something male fears commitment like the plague. I fear commitment to ministry the same way. If you are a young leader, remember Christ is about freedom, not about the weight of doubt. Love drives out fear, just keep loving the ministry.

2) Public acknowledgment: I have a friend in leadership who was told by her mentor, "no one will take you seriously until you are 30." Well, I'm 26, so do people take me seriously or not? I think so and I think that is because my senior leaders have respected my call and publicly encouraged my leadership to the congregation. If you are a senior leader you should be constantly looking for ways to affirm your young leader.

3)Fire: As a young leader I am filled with passion, creativity, and fire. I will speak my mind and I will look at something old with fresh eyes. Fire fuels easily, but it can also extinguish easily. My biggest problem is not time-management it is energy management. Young leaders need to be intentional about refueling: emotionally, spiritually, and physically.

Babies

I have a 90 lb mutt. I like to think he's the result of careful planning and consideration. Honestly though, he's a result of a little thing called, the biological clock. Many a times I've come to appreciate his need for my maternal instinct. It was spring and when I met him, I knew he was coming home with me.

Recently, several of my girlfriends have gotten pregnant. I scan through the pictures of ultrasounds and delivery. I look at how quickly these little angels develop and I catch myself wondering what it would be like if I brought home a bundle of joy. Then, I remember grad school, the multisite ministry plan for Fall 09, the independent never calling a guy my boyfriend again nature and realize that a baby is not in my 5 year plan.

A guy friend of mine recently announced that his best friend and mountain biking buddy is a soon to be dad. I wondered, I know what it does to me when a girlfriend announces her pregnancy, but what does it do to a guy? Will my guy friend feel plagued with the curse of the biological clock? Will he imagine coffee dates with strollers? Does he immediately calculate the nearest Carter Outlet to pick out the perfect onesie? I can't imagine my friend picturing himself holding a baby as a result of his wingman's paternity.

Why is it that male and female hormones are so different when it comes to babies? And are they really different or do women just act on them more openly than men?

Advent Conspiracy

I'm generally not a Christmas fan. I've been called a Scrooge and other names because of my lack of enthusiasm for the day of our dear Savior's birth. Here's the thing, I don't think I'd adamantly hate Christmas if all we did was celebrate the birth of Christ. Instead, it's about what we want for Christmas and what we still have to do before the holiday. It has little to do with mangers and heavenly hosts announcing something great.
I've been like this since I was a kid, bitter at Christmas. I think it started when I was forced to sit on a strangers lap at a party and drink something called eggnog. They called this man Santa, I called him a creeper. At the age of 4 I already knew that a fat man who watched me all the time and took notes on my behavior for his naughty and nice list was freakish. Hey Santa, I think God can take care of watching over us in a much less peeping tom sort of way.
My mother noted that about me and never forced Santa, the bunnies, the fairies, or any other weird creature that is allowed in our houses in the middle of the night. For that I'm forever grateful. Some of my friends think I'm evil for not encouraging such fantasies. I think I'm going to keep my kids out of therapy because they wont have to deal with realizing the whole world lied to them because they were innocent.
Despite my rant, I'm actually excited for Christmas this year. Candy canes, evergreens, possibly even snow all seem a bit more cheery to me. I plan on making a donation to living water international (www.water.cc) instead of giving presents. It isn't that I'm being thoughtless. Last year, I gave my roommate a basket filled with goodies. She moved out a few weeks ago, the basket still unopened. She didn't need the basket or anything in it. The kids LWI gives water too, those kids will not wait a year to drink the water. They will not shove the well in the back of the closet or recycle the gift. No, they will get the gift of life.
The gift of life. Isn't that what Christmas is about? Call me a scrooge if you'd like when I laugh at you for putting little Santas on your wall. But, my laughter this Christmas will be filled with joy when I think about a kid who gets to live another day because she had something to drink.

A good friend of mine walked away from the church shortly after high school. He walked away because he felt every Christian he met is a hypocrite and very judgmental. I told him, I can't stand most Christians, but if I judge them for being judgmental, I'm not any different. So, I choose to work for the church in hopes of changing the Christians I can't stand from within. For the record though, I'm a hypocrite too, to some extent we all are.
This video gives some good insight into what changes need to be made within the church. Maybe if every Christian called the judgment they cast on others what it is, the addiction wouldn't be so bad.