Don't Think Twice

I'm going to see Brett Dennen tonight! Many thanks to Evangeline for hooking me up as a birthday gift. I can't wait. For those of you reading who do not know the wonder of Brett, I've posted my favorite song ever being sung by him. Note, this is a cover of a Bob Dylan song. But, it rocks and I had to share it.

God in my home space

My professor, Dr. Drane (a genius when it comes to interpreting culture and applying it to theology...read his stuff, it's amazing) asked me to write on the topic of our home and it's influence on our spirituality. Interestingly enough, I have recently had a series of conversations about this, so I decided to share.

I grew up in the country so the idea of being near cornfields brings me a lot of joy. I grew up where nature is every where and you can hear nothing at night but the stars twinkling. Outside may have been quiet, but inside was the opposite. My childhood home resembles some kind of cross between a funky coffee shop and a thrifty antique store. My mother is a starving artist deep in her soul, so there were always eclectic “projects” lying around. My father, a starving musician deep in his soul, so someone was always playing the guitar, the piano, or CDs (which is what we used before iTunes ). My brothers were rough and tumble, dirty country boys that neighborhood children feared and envied in the same heartbeat. Our home was never dull, never clean, never closed to passersby, and there was always an abundance of caffeine and conversation.

Now, I’m single, 20 something and living alone in a 2 bedroom townhouse and hundreds of miles from “home”. I’m getting used to the idea of not living with clutter (both literally and figuratively), but it’s tough. The home my parents built for my brothers and I had an openness towards community. It’s something I haven’t seen much of in Illinois. Friends were treated no different than family. I don’t always see that kind of community in my peer group. I’ve been blessed recently by the open doors of friends, but I still haven’t found that same balance of intrinsic and extroversion I had growing up.

So, because I long for that community, I’m torn. Do I stay somewhere that lacks the community that tugs so desperately on my heartstrings? Or do I leave the place where my roots have sprouted and gifts and opportunity abound? Community inevitably affects our spirituality. Everything we do in community is linked to the author of relationship, the graphic designer of community. When we experience a deficit in community, we are not experiencing what God has designed for us from the beginning. He creates Adam, gives him land in abundance and the fulfillment of work. Then, he looks and says, “It is not good for man to be alone.” From the very beginning God was drafting neighborhood block parties.

Listening to God

For the last few months my church has been on a Stewardship Journey. That is, we've been trying to raise the funds we'll need to expand from one site to two sites. It's an exciting time and I have seen God help many leaders and contributors step up for this mission. I believe in the mission of our church and the leadership of church. I'm excited about the multiplying that will be done at Trinity in the next 12 months. We are about to embark on an awesome journey!

That being said, throughout this ministry series I've been praying and asking God to reveal to me just the right financial commitment to make to Trinity. Over the last months I have heard a number of testimonies of how God has revealed a financial commitment to members of our congregation and others. Through all the jounaling, praying, reading, and trying to listen God has remained silent. Today, I read an e-mail update with the total financial commitments already received. Frustrated, I thought, "Where are you God...why are you talking to so many and not to me?"

So, I'm still waiting to hear from God. What do I learn from this scenario? I think God let's us wrestle a bit here and there. Struggles build character. So, I'm attempting to wait it out and keep listening.

Animaniacs and the MAGL

Last week, I spent 2 weeks in a very beautiful and warm LA. Unfortunately, I spent 45 hours each week in a basement with no windows. I did however, spend it with these amazing leaders from all over the world. My "assigned" seat for the week was right across from a world map, which was at least nicer to look at then the back of my new friend David's head. I tried to post some crazy photo of us all pointing to the map, but I can't figure out how to. I'm lame.



David and his wife Brittney live right near the Warner Brother's Water Tower. That water tower cracks me up because apparently, the Looney Toons staff were so obnoxious to work with, their coworkers banished them to a separate building by the water tower. It is from this piece of history that the idea for the cartoon, Animaniacs, was born.



On that cartoon were two lab rats, Pinky and the Brain, who conspired to take over the world. Matty my big brother, tells me that the grad program I am in, Masters of Global Leadership, makes it sound like I have something in common with the Animaniacs. It's all strangely fitting together. I'll let you decide...

Looking for a date on Valentine's Day?

I just read a blog by a girlfriend warning other gal pals of the peril of Valentine's Day. For the single woman, Valentine's Day can be the equivalent of being the only kid without a date to the first big dance. For years, I've seen single gals wane into the background and ignore Cupid's special day. As a single gal in the so very subburban outskirts of Chicago, that could be me. And, chances are if you've been bummed on the LOVE FEST day you've felt that way too.

That won't be me this year though. The reality is, St Valentine is an unknown historical figure, most likely a Christian martyr. Rumor has it he met his death on Feb. 14. There other clouds of mystery surrounding the holiday, like forbidden marriages and bloody massacres. But, basically, dear old Valentine died for serving others. Not a bad way to show the world you care!

In the spirit of serving and loving others, I'll be heading out to the Joshua Center in Chicago to serve some wonderful ladies dinner. Joshua Center is a ministry to homeless women. It has a very dear place in my heart because every time I'm with these ladies, I'm reminded of how blessed I am and how special we all are. If you are dreading the lonlies of V-day or just simply want to love out loud, let me know...I'd be happy to take you along!

Children of God

1 John 3:1 (NLT)

See how very much our heavenly Father loves us, for he allows us to be called his children, and we really are! But the people who belong to this world don't know God, so they don't understand that we are his children.

When I think of this verse, I think about the senior year of my undergrad. Undergrad was not a positive experience. I made wonderful friends and laughed in the midst of many moments there, but overall there was a dark cloud of persecution. I was not Lutheran enough and too female to really battle theology with the presem boys. Worse yet, the faculty and staff cared little abut the character formation of their young leaders. There was, however, a deep concern for obedience and the rote memorization of Lutheran writings. In those days, if I could cross-reference Kolb and Walther enough, I may have actually been heard by another student. There lives within me though a spirit that loves to rebel and in the midst of my all academic faith, I began to wonder about the relational Christ I dreamed of. I read about a Christ who loved rebels and acted radically towards authority. I was drawn to a Christ that loved whores, tax collectors, and Torah dropouts. In emulating such a nature I was typecasted as liberal, reprimanded, and told I would never find a church willing to let me preach about this Jesus.

I wish in those days, someone would have looked at me and said, “God cares more about what is doing in you than what he is doing through you.” God cares more about the state of my heart in leadership than the numbers of youth I reach. In fact, I am bold enough to say that God would withhold my ability to reach and teach others if my heart’s motives were not in communion with God.

In leadership, so often I catch myself crying: “I’m good with God because I’m right.” But, really God could care less about what I’m doing if my identity is not in my relationship with him. I didn’t work to be created or born, I am a child of my parents because of work they did. My identity in Christ is not dependent on my work; it is because of work God has done.