Monday, October 6, 2008

I believe in the creation story. This could be credited to my religious background or perhaps that frankly, the idea of evolution sounds bizarre to me. I guess the idea of God forming mankind in his own image is more appealing than phytoplankton and monkeys having mutant babies or a really loud noise in the dark. I believe God made the whole world in six segments and then created Adam. And, because Adam needed a “suitable helper” he created Eve. This is hardly the thrilling part, though I know many theologians who have spent hours deciphering these passages. There is a piece of this story that I overlooked in my learning as a child. A portion that my pastors failed to show me as a young woman filled with the burning desire to understand who I am and what is beyond the garden’s gate.

Eve had it good, she had the safe route. She had everything she could ever need. She had a nice man to look after her, so to speak. She probably had a medium growth 401K and refinance loan at a great rate. Perhaps she even had a hybrid SUV to combat the growing gas prices. I imagine that life was calm and she was content with Adam and their animal friends. Or, was she? Because there was one thing she couldn’t have. She wasn’t supposed to eat from one tree, “the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.” I never understood that part. Was that tree there just to taunt and torture her about what is beyond her reach? What is that tree’s real purpose? There must be more to the story.

So, Eve alone in her garden happens upon the snake. He seemed harmless enough. Maybe he offered her a nonfat latte’ and chit chatted about the great tomato crop that summer. But, the conversation twists; as they talk he invites her to try a piece of that mystery fruit. I can hear him telling her to taste it, to just try one tiny piece and she would be wiser, worldlier, more understanding of her garden. Eve begins to question herself, how could she live here all this time and never think to try something new? Eve knew the rules; she knew she wasn’t supposed to eat that fruit. Though something about that fruit pulled her in like a force. So what is it that lured her? She certainly didn’t need the fruit, but temptation doesn’t creep into our hearts when we are content. Why did she want this so badly? I imagine her twirling that conversation around her head so many times she could taste it on her cheek. Her heart and her head arguing about logic. The lust for that single piece of fruit growing like the wails of a hungry child. Nothing, nothing but that fruit could satisfy the craving!
I’ve watched many judge Eve for eating that fruit. I myself have fallen victim to criticizing her. I’ve asked, “Who did she think she was?” “How could she be so stupid?” “Weren’t the rules clear?” Eve took that piece of forbidden fruit. But, she didn’t take it because the snake tricked her out of living by the rules her father taught her. No, she took it because that snake offered her something that Adam never gave her. The snake offered her something unknown. He offered her adventure. He didn’t offer the safe route. He left her wondering in lust and doubt and hunger. That fruit tantalized Eve for the same reason the forbidden fruit still tantalizes women today. As women are born with the a vigor that we only discover when we are presented with obvious conundrums of fate.

When I think of Eve, I always knew I related to her as a sister in my history. I relate to all the goddesses featured in the Bible because my heart yearns to understand the stories these bold women tell. In all the times I read this story, I never realized that I am Eve. I am Eve because I know why she took that first bite. I know why that fruit tempted her beyond the SUV and the 401K.
I went to what I consider one of the most uptight Christian colleges in the country. Girls at my college joked about earning an MRS. These girls were content to share hymnals at daily chapel and set up double dates like "Mini golf." It was reminiscent of the Mona Lisa Smile staring Julia Roberts, only 40 years later. The boys at this school liked to tell me they could see my values. Most of them grew up to be mildly successful, mildly attractive, and mildly monotonous in all senses of these words. I wonder how far they were from Adam. Despite the advice of several girlfriends, I could never be attracted to them. There is nothing mysterious and forbidden about miniature golf.

In the same way that Eve just can’t settle for Adam and the garden she knows. I couldn't settle for those "safe" guys at college. After college, when most of my girlfriends married their beloveds, I set out to discover the wonder of what the forbidden fruit entails. I know the wonder lust Eve felt in her heart when that snake encouraged her to ‘just do it.’ I know how the snake captivated her with his stories of a life she had not yet explored.

I wonder, what thoughts ran through her head as she took that first bite of nectar? I know Eve faced consequences for her actions. I don’t want to minimize the sacredness of my ancestors’ beliefs. The mother of life changed the course of history that afternoon in the garden. But, could I just for a moment applaud her for taking a road that no one else tried? Can I just for a second relate to that desire to explore instead of judging her for not following the path that her safe Adam laid out for her?

I can only hope that I am brave enough to decline status quo and make choices that may alter the course of history. Eve set the bar higher for me with her story. She had a choice and maybe, to some she made the poor choice. But, at least she was bold enough to make the choice. I’m done judging the Eve’s of this world. I am Eve. I am proud to say that even if I fall; I fall knowing that I don’t have to wonder what if? I fall knowing that what was, is no longer good enough and I am brave enough to try. I am brave enough to step outside the lines that others have drawn in my garden.

2 comments:

Katy said...

Hey girl. I added you to my blog list. I love reading what you write. :)
You inspire me.
Katy Rudzinski

Steven said...

You seem very cool. I found your blog when I looked for other people with "Director of Youth ministry" in their profile. What's up!

I'm not sure I'm disciplined enough to blog, so I'm instantly jealous of you! Anyways, I enjoy reading what you write. Your story telling about Eve and all that, even as a dude (and i'm not trying to co-opt eve or your identity with her) relates to me when I look at around at dull monotony and see married off friends and the beginnings of their retirement accounts. It's gotten hard not to give into it, though, since I graduated college and no longer live in an albeitly somewhat naive but still passionate and idealist community of peers.

Keep the faith.

Steven