An inspired fire

Seam Ripper

2011-04-19T18:23:00.000-07:00

Tonight, I made this Taggie blanket per the request of a friend. She offered to pay me, but I said, "Why don't you watch my kid for a few hours?" I believe this is called battering. Either way, she's a wonderful friend and I'm happy to make a gift she can pass on.

Since, I dedicated tonight to sewing, I thought I'd take the Singer Confidence for a joy ride just to see what she was capable of. This leads me to the title of today's post. Who created the seam ripper? She's a genius. I assume the inventor is a female because the seam ripper implies mistakes have been made. I made plenty of mistakes while playfully exploring new stitches tonight on my machine. Which got me thinking about other mistakes in my life. If only I could easily grab my little gadget and rip out those last few stitches, the ones that missed everything up, then continue on all mistakes forgotten. Unfortunately, life isn't so simple. Mistakes require "I'm sorry's" and change and sometimes tears. Some of my mistakes turned out to be blessings, but they definitely did not feel that way at the time. Some mistakes changed everything, opening a new chapter in my life. Others, I still think about on still nights and wonder how things would be if I'd said or done something differently. I wonder, what would have happened in those moments if I'd been able to just simply pull out a few seams and try again. Would the lessons I've learned from those mistakes settled the same way? How different would our lives be if we had a seam ripper?

An inspired fire: Taggie Blankets

2011-04-12T19:23:00.000-07:00

An inspired fire: Taggie Blankets

Taggie Blankets

2011-04-12T19:16:00.000-07:00

I made this awhile ago...but haven't posted them. I got obsessed and made several for friends. A great way for me to practice sewing and a great way to use up ribbon scraps. One of the ones I made for Betty is mostly ribbons from packages at my baby showers a great way to preserve those wonderful memories!

Grace or something like it...

2011-04-12T19:08:00.000-07:00

Here's a disclaimer. This is a personal post. But, one I've felt like I should share, so I'm going to. I'm not trying to trash the Lutheran Church, it's just my thoughts on my Spirituality and where I feel God is leading me in that journey. My journey has included a lot of great spiritual education that has given me strong roots. But, when I found myself pregnant and unmarried, the church had a lot of finger pointing to do. I sought mercy, the church sought justice. God in his infinite wisdom provided me with both.

"It is better live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of someone else's life with perfection." -Bhagavad Gita (emphasis added)

I've read that phrase before, but the last time I read that phrase, it hit me: This is why I never settled into being Lutheran. I tried so hard to fit into that box, but I was always living a lie. I ws trying to perfectly imitate what the church taught me. Despite years of trying to fit that build and diving into theological discussion head first, my being Lutheran was like expecting a cat to be man's best friend. Today when I reflect on my life, my destiny, I recognize the journey I'm supposed to be on. It's a cluttered life. It's imperfect. There is a small amount of chaos surrounding each day. But, there is also a large amoung of joy. The journey I've been on has been a quest to find spirituality, center, a driving force. Not a book of rules or decisions with the answers already made.

For me, being Lutheran was like cheating on a test. The questions all right there in front of me and my #2 pencils sharpened and in my hand. But, everytime I read a question, the bubble automatically filled in the answer. Even when I disagreed with the answer. I kept trying to answer C, but B filled in first. And no matter how hard I tried, I could never get to a point where I believed B was right over C.

I've been told "hindsight is 20/20. I think that is why I'm able to see so clearly that living perfectly in a structured destiny left little for me to dream about or desire. The quest to finding God in our everyday lives is not about filling in an answer someone else told you is right on a test. It's about living imperfectly and having the courage to wonder what will happen if we really aren't perfect. That is what grace is! Grace is not having the perfect score on your test. And, understanding grace is having a recognition that imprefection is so much better!!!

I don't expect to live without consequences or discipline. But, when it comes to spirituality, the air on your own journey is so much easier to breathe. Following your own spiritual path is far more exillerating than living a spiritual lie. What I've come to learn through this process is that freedom and grace, are the same thing. As Janis Joplin says, "Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose." Living in grace, means living like you've got nothing to lose, because really, in terms of faith and God's love, you really don't have anything to lose.

You've got to figure, she knows something about freedom with a smile like that!

Romans 5:2

2011-03-08T11:06:00.000-08:00

I'm writing today because, I miss it. I miss writing. After an almost year long sabatical from all things writing related, I finally missed it. I miss publicly displaying my thoughts, feelings, hopes, ideas and the vulnerability of their exposure. I played this cat and mouse game with myself today about writing. I spent about 30 minutes this morning making a few cards and I told myself that now, I should do laundry. Laundry is more important than taking the last few minutes of nap time to myself. Isn't funny the way mommy-hood gives you this feeling that you are never allowed to have more than 1 "me" moment in a day? Stupid lie. How many moms live this way?
Anyways, I'm behind on my verse a day calendar because I have commitment issues. I over-commit to things. I get abnormally attached to things abnormally quickly. For example, my calendar has been set on March 3rd for quite some time now because I really like March 3rd's verse. Today, I finally commited to switching it. This turned out to be a positive outcome:
"We throw open our doors to God and discover at the same moment he has already thrown open his door to us." Romans 5:2 (MSG). I've been working on hospitality in my life for a few years. A less than hospitable thing happened to me and I've been trying to render out what hospitality should look like. Since then, I've been seeking how to make myself a hospitable person. It has become an obsession, a calling, and ongoing discussion between my head and my heart. So this verse hits me hard, open doors are a huge part of living a hospitable life. But more than that, the willingness to open those doors when we don't know what is on the other side is true hospitality. With God, when we finally reach the point of opening that door to spirituality, He's already there. No searching or wondering what's next required. So we find ourselves right where we wanted to be all along, with everything we needed.

And if you are wondering about March 3rd's verse, I might be back by next May.

Coffee Can

2011-02-24T11:07:00.000-08:00

My new mom motto is: Coffee, Coffee, Coffee. My sister-in-law has 4 boys, 4 and under. When she found out she was prego with the last two (twin boys) she went out and bought the largest coffee cups I've ever seen. So, I made this little canister for a friend...and put some ground coffee inside, of course!

It's just a simple pail I picked up at Joann's and then covered with paper. Giving the gift of coffee is my first love language, finding paper that matches someone's personality is my second. So, I think I liked making this project more than my friend enjoyed receiving it! Delightful.

Diaper Cake

2011-02-23T10:46:00.000-08:00

Remember a few weeks ago when I promised to post a pic of the diaper cake I made Mike help me make? Well, here it is. I loved making this and the mom to be felt super special...as all recipients of any cake should!

Scrapbook for Betty

2011-02-23T10:39:00.000-08:00

I made this scrapbook for Betty a few months back...I still need to get photos in there, but at least the book is made right? It was from a kit I picked up at Archivers. Super fast, fun, and easy! I'm not sure how I feel about all the formatting of the layouts, but it's a great example if I want to do future board books. Plus, it has rings and ribbon ties which I adore!

Small Scrapbooks

2011-02-23T10:17:00.000-08:00

I've been craving a spot to post some of my recent projects. For weeks I've been storing up photos of creations hoping to have a free second to post them. Not working means I should have more time for these things, but unfortunately something always takes precedence to getting my projects posted. Life at work. Here are a few of my proudly COMPLETED projects!

To the left is a little picture book. I've pretty much been obsessed with making these since my friend had twins almost a year ago. I made her 2, one for each and now I'm addicted. They are super cute and super fun for shower gifts.

The pages on the right and below are from a small scrapbook with pages varying in size. It came out so cute. I haven't seen the mommy of the little girl this book is for in a while and haven't presented it, so I can't show the cover yet. But, I had a ton of fun making this and using my Cricut to get some different pages done.

Latest You Tube Love

2009-04-16T15:21:00.001-07:00

I would like to be friends with these guys. My absolute favorite is that the Taco Bell guy repeats the order and totally wows them. I wonder if the little Eminem look alike at our Taco Bell would enjoy something like this.

Anyone know if they are the milk and cereal guys? Or what happened to them?

Chazown

2009-03-31T07:50:00.000-07:00

Sorry for my absence in blogging. I've been exhausted! I've been flooded with opportunities to learn and grow in the last months, which has left me little time to write something I feel useful for the public to read. But, this morning, as I drink my coffee I hear the words of my dear friend Jason, "When you stop to learn, you must also stop to teach." I wish I could tell you more about Jason, but I wont because I don't have his permission and writing more could jeopardize the beautiful mission God called him to. Just know, that there is more wisdom and drive in what his quote about learning and teaching than I will ever fully grasp.
Calling is a beautiful thing. I've been studying Chazown by Craig Groeschel with my gal pals. Chazown is the Hebrew word for dream, revelation, vision. Everyone was born with Chazown, but it can easily be ignored. As I've been stretched to learn and grow in the last few months, I am eagerly studying what is my calling and Chazown.
In the meantime, I stop my busy morning to share with you this video clip I remembered this morning. It has so much to say in such a little bit of time. Enjoy and keep focused, it moves pretty quickly.

As an FYI, most of this info was already outdated by the time the video was published. So, do not expect accuracy, but that fact alone I believe adds that much more to the purpose of the video.

Don't Think Twice

2009-02-26T09:19:00.000-08:00

I'm going to see Brett Dennen tonight! Many thanks to Evangeline for hooking me up as a birthday gift. I can't wait. For those of you reading who do not know the wonder of Brett, I've posted my favorite song ever being sung by him. Note, this is a cover of a Bob Dylan song. But, it rocks and I had to share it.

God in my home space

2009-02-18T19:15:00.000-08:00

My professor, Dr. Drane (a genius when it comes to interpreting culture and applying it to theology...read his stuff, it's amazing) asked me to write on the topic of our home and it's influence on our spirituality. Interestingly enough, I have recently had a series of conversations about this, so I decided to share.

I grew up in the country so the idea of being near cornfields brings me a lot of joy. I grew up where nature is every where and you can hear nothing at night but the stars twinkling. Outside may have been quiet, but inside was the opposite. My childhood home resembles some kind of cross between a funky coffee shop and a thrifty antique store. My mother is a starving artist deep in her soul, so there were always eclectic “projects” lying around. My father, a starving musician deep in his soul, so someone was always playing the guitar, the piano, or CDs (which is what we used before iTunes ). My brothers were rough and tumble, dirty country boys that neighborhood children feared and envied in the same heartbeat. Our home was never dull, never clean, never closed to passersby, and there was always an abundance of caffeine and conversation.

Now, I’m single, 20 something and living alone in a 2 bedroom townhouse and hundreds of miles from “home”. I’m getting used to the idea of not living with clutter (both literally and figuratively), but it’s tough. The home my parents built for my brothers and I had an openness towards community. It’s something I haven’t seen much of in Illinois. Friends were treated no different than family. I don’t always see that kind of community in my peer group. I’ve been blessed recently by the open doors of friends, but I still haven’t found that same balance of intrinsic and extroversion I had growing up.

So, because I long for that community, I’m torn. Do I stay somewhere that lacks the community that tugs so desperately on my heartstrings? Or do I leave the place where my roots have sprouted and gifts and opportunity abound? Community inevitably affects our spirituality. Everything we do in community is linked to the author of relationship, the graphic designer of community. When we experience a deficit in community, we are not experiencing what God has designed for us from the beginning. He creates Adam, gives him land in abundance and the fulfillment of work. Then, he looks and says, “It is not good for man to be alone.” From the very beginning God was drafting neighborhood block parties.

Listening to God

2009-02-17T13:23:00.000-08:00

For the last few months my church has been on a Stewardship Journey. That is, we've been trying to raise the funds we'll need to expand from one site to two sites. It's an exciting time and I have seen God help many leaders and contributors step up for this mission. I believe in the mission of our church and the leadership of church. I'm excited about the multiplying that will be done at Trinity in the next 12 months. We are about to embark on an awesome journey!

That being said, throughout this ministry series I've been praying and asking God to reveal to me just the right financial commitment to make to Trinity. Over the last months I have heard a number of testimonies of how God has revealed a financial commitment to members of our congregation and others. Through all the jounaling, praying, reading, and trying to listen God has remained silent. Today, I read an e-mail update with the total financial commitments already received. Frustrated, I thought, "Where are you God...why are you talking to so many and not to me?"

So, I'm still waiting to hear from God. What do I learn from this scenario? I think God let's us wrestle a bit here and there. Struggles build character. So, I'm attempting to wait it out and keep listening.

Animaniacs and the MAGL

2009-02-12T10:39:00.000-08:00

Last week, I spent 2 weeks in a very beautiful and warm LA. Unfortunately, I spent 45 hours each week in a basement with no windows. I did however, spend it with these amazing leaders from all over the world. My "assigned" seat for the week was right across from a world map, which was at least nicer to look at then the back of my new friend David's head. I tried to post some crazy photo of us all pointing to the map, but I can't figure out how to. I'm lame.

David and his wife Brittney live right near the Warner Brother's Water Tower. That water tower cracks me up because apparently, the Looney Toons staff were so obnoxious to work with, their coworkers banished them to a separate building by the water tower. It is from this piece of history that the idea for the cartoon, Animaniacs, was born.

On that cartoon were two lab rats, Pinky and the Brain, who conspired to take over the world. Matty my big brother, tells me that the grad program I am in, Masters of Global Leadership, makes it sound like I have something in common with the Animaniacs. It's all strangely fitting together. I'll let you decide...

Looking for a date on Valentine's Day?

2009-02-10T09:54:00.000-08:00

I just read a blog by a girlfriend warning other gal pals of the peril of Valentine's Day. For the single woman, Valentine's Day can be the equivalent of being the only kid without a date to the first big dance. For years, I've seen single gals wane into the background and ignore Cupid's special day. As a single gal in the so very subburban outskirts of Chicago, that could be me. And, chances are if you've been bummed on the LOVE FEST day you've felt that way too.

That won't be me this year though. The reality is, St Valentine is an unknown historical figure, most likely a Christian martyr. Rumor has it he met his death on Feb. 14. There other clouds of mystery surrounding the holiday, like forbidden marriages and bloody massacres. But, basically, dear old Valentine died for serving others. Not a bad way to show the world you care!

In the spirit of serving and loving others, I'll be heading out to the Joshua Center in Chicago to serve some wonderful ladies dinner. Joshua Center is a ministry to homeless women. It has a very dear place in my heart because every time I'm with these ladies, I'm reminded of how blessed I am and how special we all are. If you are dreading the lonlies of V-day or just simply want to love out loud, let me know...I'd be happy to take you along!

Children of God

2009-02-03T15:56:00.000-08:00

1 John 3:1 (NLT)

See how very much our heavenly Father loves us, for he allows us to be called his children, and we really are! But the people who belong to this world don't know God, so they don't understand that we are his children.

When I think of this verse, I think about the senior year of my undergrad. Undergrad was not a positive experience. I made wonderful friends and laughed in the midst of many moments there, but overall there was a dark cloud of persecution. I was not Lutheran enough and too female to really battle theology with the presem boys. Worse yet, the faculty and staff cared little abut the character formation of their young leaders. There was, however, a deep concern for obedience and the rote memorization of Lutheran writings. In those days, if I could cross-reference Kolb and Walther enough, I may have actually been heard by another student. There lives within me though a spirit that loves to rebel and in the midst of my all academic faith, I began to wonder about the relational Christ I dreamed of. I read about a Christ who loved rebels and acted radically towards authority. I was drawn to a Christ that loved whores, tax collectors, and Torah dropouts. In emulating such a nature I was typecasted as liberal, reprimanded, and told I would never find a church willing to let me preach about this Jesus.

I wish in those days, someone would have looked at me and said, “God cares more about what is doing in you than what he is doing through you.” God cares more about the state of my heart in leadership than the numbers of youth I reach. In fact, I am bold enough to say that God would withhold my ability to reach and teach others if my heart’s motives were not in communion with God.

In leadership, so often I catch myself crying: “I’m good with God because I’m right.” But, really God could care less about what I’m doing if my identity is not in my relationship with him. I didn’t work to be created or born, I am a child of my parents because of work they did. My identity in Christ is not dependent on my work; it is because of work God has done.

Continuing Well

2009-01-30T10:15:00.000-08:00

I've been so intimidated by the leadership words, "finish well." Maybe that is because only 1 in 3 leaders actually finish well. I dare not consider that I could be one of those leaders who does not. As a young leader, I recognize that God is doing things in me and testing my character. I will say this, my integrity is being tested over and over again. I pray that as I take time to work on my character that God gives me the courage and foundation to succeed in these character checks.

1 Cor 9:24-27
I am serious about finisthing well in my Christian ministry. I discipline myeslf for fear that after challenging others into the christian life I myself might become a casualty (Clinton Paraphrase).

Bobby Clinton teaches that the key to finishing well is continuing well. Today, in honor of studying along Bobby Clinton, I'm posting as he teaches!

Barriers to finishing well:
Finances - their use and abuse.
Power - it's abuse.
Inordinate Pride
Sex - illicit relationships
Family - Critical issues
Plateauing - lack of continued growth
Emotion and Psychological wounding

These are stumbling blocks to finishing well. Recognizing them before they hold you back is a part of building a firm foundation in leadership. Chess expert Marcus Weeks suggests winning in the middle game. The beginning of the game is exciting, but much can change as the pieces move on the board. The middle game takes strategy and much is lost in the middle game. Leadership is much the same way. The middle of ministry and leadership matters! What happens in the middle of ministry takes strategy, future planning, and more.

A secret he shared with me today:
"All leaders will go through deep processing. Deep processing can blindside you so that you will question God. A SOVEREIGN MINDSET WILL MAKE THE DIFFERENCE WHETHER OR NOT YOU MAKE IT THROUGH DEEP PROCESSING. DEEP PROCESSING IS ONE MIDDLE GAME SIDELINER."

So, how do we travel well in the midst of ministry:
Have a sovereign mindset: Asking what Lord are you doing to do through me.
Ask yourself rhetorical questions: Take a look at the Apostle Paul's writings and see just how important these questions are in the Word of God. Know yourself very well.
Discipline yourself Spiritually : Are you in the word? do you have spiritual habits?
Develop and take a lifelong Learning Posture: learn from all of life's sources: experience, other people, formal training, informal training, personal projects.

Assuming I even make it through the middle game (Lord, please help me get there!) Finishing well characteristics are:
Vibrant, personal relationship with God
Maintain learning posture
Christlikeness in Character
Lives a life of conviction and promises from God
Ultimate contributions
Growing awareness of self identity

At the MAGL

2009-01-29T13:55:00.000-08:00

This morning, I trekked back to school. My lunch packed, my first day of school outfit, my bag ready by the door. I felt the way I have felt so many times in the past…eager to learn, hopeful of what the next horizon brings. I am so blessed to be in an “intensive learning environment” as they call these two weeks. I think I’ve approached every learning opportunity as intense. Yet this opportunity is particularly powerful. So many of God gifted leaders approaching the same topic; we are leaders, what’s next?

In some ways I’m so excited and encouraged at how BIG God is. In other ways, I’m mortified.

One of the things I find so encouraging about God is that he never gives up on us. Here I am sitting amongst authors, former business owners, so catalysts for change in other cultures. Several of my new classmates have been imprisoned, have left their homes, have fled in persecution. God's hand is clearly at work in lives around the world. I am learning to take my time climbing the ladder I am on because at the top of the ladder, is just another ladder to climb. So I must learn to climb this one well, rather than quickly. I have felt from time to time the loneliness that comes from standing on the ladder of leadership and know others have as well. Here in this program I hope to learn to support other leaders. I want to ask God not, what can I do for you? But, rather, what can I do for your people?

Shout to the Lord

2009-01-08T12:03:00.000-08:00

One great joy in youth ministry for me is teaching Confirmation. I find this ironic because I swore I would NEVER want that job. I love working with jr. high students because I find there is this incredible tension in their lives as they go from innocent and at times naive children to independent and aware adults.
Last night I had the joy of teaching about the fruit of the Spirit to 50 or so 7th and 8th graders. To open our teaching time we sang Shout to the Lord. I have long thought this is a great jr high praise song, but last night further proved my point. So there I was last night standing next to a 4' 11" twelve year old boy, his eyes shut and he is belting out, "ASKING for joy at the work of your hands."
If I make a mistake while singing a song, I am immediately embarrassed. Jr high kids don't care. What's even better is that often when kids or youth sing the wrong words or change the phrasing, there is wisdom in that. The lyrics to song are, "I sing for joy at the work of your hands." But, I like my twelve year old friend's rendition better. Here's why, how often do we try to find joy ourselves? We buy something in hopes that it will bring us happiness. We do something becuase it makes us feel good. So often, our thought is that we can create joy in our lives. Joy, however is a fruit of the Spirit. As in, a gift from allowing the Spirit to work in and through our lives. Are you trying to create your own joy or are you trusting God to provide joy at the work of His hands?

Culture and Leadership

2009-01-06T11:07:00.000-08:00

I’m currently enrolled in the Master of Arts in Global Leadership program at Fuller University (MAGL). I’ve struggled to articulate to people why I believe culture has significant impact on leadership. Generally, people just give me a cross eyed look when I say I’m studying global leadership instead of education or theology which seems to be what most church leaders study.

To me, every leadership environment is a culture. Every culture has artifacts, values, and a much harder thing to title, stereotypes. Artifacts are tangible. These are the outcomes and measures of a culture. For example, in the same way a business meets regularly to understand how to increase profit margin, I meet regularly with my team of leaders at Trinity to discuss our outcomes and measures, which in my case would be the number of students serving in ministry and the number of students worship regularly and committed to a small group. If this were the only part of leadership, I’d simply be able to state, “I’d like to see 100 students at the next Large Group for confirmation.” Unfortunately, a healthy system doesn’t happen simply because I am willing to measure it or even by what we see. Growth is the result of combining the artifacts with a more systematic approach, or values if you will.

Values are not tangible, they are the result of what people in a culture are doing. This is who we say we are. In youth ministry at Trinity communicate this value as SHINE: share Christ, help others, ignite Christlike friendship, nurture faith, and exalt God in all we do. Everything we do in ministry at Trinity is stabilized by our values. No event or activity, or dare I use the word program, comes into being without being rooted in our values. Combining these two thoughts on artifacts and values leads me to these thoughts on stereotypes.

Stereotypes or assumptions are hard to title because how does one title something as slippery as opinions and feelings. Though, I challenge you to argue that this last piece is not a significant contribution to culture or environment. Positive stereotypes in a ministry culture happen when what
we see happening combines with what we say we want to see happen.

Advent Conspiracy

2009-01-02T12:52:00.002-08:00

Together, the folks at Trinity raised closed to $70,000 for the people of Liberia. A huge praise God for spending less, giving more time, and thinking about the real needs of others. So often, we are stuck in the rut of feeling as though we cannot solve the problems of this world. Today, I remind you that God is big. Take a moment to chew on that in your mind and your heart. God is big. Now, watch this video and praise Him for his greatness. It is God who gives us the desires of our heart.

More on

2009-01-02T12:52:00.001-08:00

Communicating with Youth

2009-01-02T11:59:00.000-08:00

One of the most exciting challenges in youth ministry is creating lessons that are experiential. I rarely have a student come to me and say, "that lecture on Luke chapter 2 really challenged me." I do however have students repeatedly say, "last year's mission trip was amazing, I can't wait to go again." Or, "ever since we went on that retreat, I've been trying to recognize how I can share my faith with others." Experiences teach.

The Bible is filled with stories that teach experiences. The disciples were first challenged by the experience Christ presented. Students today are longing for community, they long to be a part of a story that they can personally make their own. In order to meet that need as a youth minister I need to also recognize that the world today is Post everything! It is:
Post National: It is more diverse than every before. Students go to Japan for class trips, they play video games with students in other countries, and restaurant menus are offered in Spanish and English. Globalization is a huge influence on this generation. There is no longer the fantasy of a land far, far away.
Post Rational: Truth is trumped by experience. If students do not experience God's presence in their lives, the authenticity of the Bible as God's Word is not understood. Science is no longer air tight seal. Mystery and myth are just as easily accepted. They do not want a God that can be dissected and defined.
Post Sexual: Thanks to programming like MTV and several reality based TV shows on sexuality, youth don't recognize the same taboos of previous generations. It isn't uncommon at all for a student to sit at the same table as a bisexual, a homosexual, and a heterosexual and everyone can voice their opinions openly and with little judgment.
Post Racial: Subburban students listen to rap, hip hop, and other music that traditionally was popular in a more Urban setting. Color and culture is a means of identifying personality types, but it is no longer a class definition.
Post Traumatic: Students are not easily shocked. Horror films outsell comedy. They've experienced war, suicide, depression, cancer, hurricanes, tsunamis and more. Their reality is often more abrasive and awestruck than fiction.
Post Contemporary: There is a preference of one worship style to another. An issue current church leaders spend hours debating will be completely irrelevant in the years to come. Worship is about response and community not preference. Spirituality meets them in nature, online, in texts, in a coffee shop it is not bound to organs or chord charts.
Post Christian: Church is no longer the starting point. Students have friends that practice spirituality through a variety of religious traditions. Religions have have sub branches, i.e. "I'm a Christ follower, not a Christian" or "I'm a nonpracticing Muslim" or "I'm a nonkosher Jew."

What trends have you seen in youth ministry? I'd love your opinions, challenges, thoughts on the above.

Reflecting on 2008

2009-01-02T11:35:00.000-08:00

Because I've been reading so much lately and because I have a deep gratitude for iTunes, I'm going to try to begin each post with a book I'm reading and what song is on iTunes.

Listening to: Fireflight, "Waiting"; and Casting Crowns, "Masquerade"

Reading: The Ascent of a Leader

2008 was a great teaching year for me.I learned a variety of things about youth ministry.I had opportunities to grow as a leader through conferences and servant leadership community called KINDLE. I was blessed with teaching experiences on Sunday nights (some of which taught me more than I taught others!) and asked to speak for other youth ministries.I started grad school and began learning the balance of being graded for work I’m pouring every ounce of free time into. I climbed two physical mountains, pushing my own endurance and accomplished a few life goals along the way.

Learning is something we often take for granted. A friend of mine, loves getting B's and C's in her undergrad classes. These grades are often the result of taking classes that have little to do with her major, she finds the courses challenging. They push her to wonder about the world outside or her interests and passions. She loves getting those average grades because she believes she learns more in a class she earns a C in than a class she earns an A in because her learning is challenged so greatly. She informed me she learns every bit of that B or C. To her, it is not necessarily about the mark, it's more about how the learning changes or challenges her thought process on a matter. Success in learning is not always measured in an A's or F's. It's measured in the outcomes.

In college, I used to take the first two weeks of every semester to focus on recognizing one theme in my life. My first semester was zeal, learning to see the zeal of the Lord in my everyday life. The semester of my first big break up was love. I focused on learning to love even when your heart is tender and broken. Post college, it has been harder to find breaks that encourage reflection and this kind of premeditated recognition. Thankfully, New Year’s naturally causes reflection. So, 2008’s theme can be summed up as: learning.

What did God teach you in 2008? What A, B, C, or even failed learnings did you glean from 2008? What classes or themes will you pursue in 2009?

More on Advent Conspiracy

2008-12-12T09:50:00.000-08:00

I feel like I can't stop talking about the Advent Conspiracy. It has changed my entire outlook on Christmas. You see, for years I have felt like Christmas was something that caused stress. People are sad because they can't afford to buy something big and spectacular for their kids. Stores have sale after sale. Employees are upset because they have to work their second job at the mall to pay for the gifts they won't watch their loved one open. It's a bit ridiculous if you ask me.

Not this year.

This year, I'm learning for the first time that Christmas is about bringing hope, peace, and life. This year, I get to taste what it was like for Christ to come and give and teach. This year, I'm telling the real story of change. Think about joining. Watch this video and think about how you might be able to reclaim the message of Christ this season.

Trinity's 2008 Advent Conspiracy Project

Love well. Give wells.

People are dying from the lack of clean water. In fact, it's the leading cause of death in under resourced countries. 1.8 million people die every year from water born illnesses. That includes 3,900 children a day. The solution to this problem is directly beneath our feet. Drilling a fresh water well is a relatively inexpensive, yet permanent solution to this epidemic. $10 will give a child clean water for life. That's not an estimate. It's a fact. And here's another fact: Solving this water problem once and for all will cost about $10 billion. Not bad considering Americans spent $450 billion on Christmas last year. Our hope is that, by celebrating Christ in a new way at Christmas, the church can serve as the leading movement behind ending the water crisis once and for all.

As a part of the Advent Conspiracy, Trinity is supporting Living Water International (www.water.cc) to provide clean water to all God's people on Earth.

Our Goal

We will collect an offering the week after Christmas to donate to LWI for 125 well repairs in Liberia. Our goal is to donate $250,000.

Help me reach that goal. Help LWI reach that goal. Every dollar is a kid who lives. Every dollar.

Christmas can [still] change the world.

Stand By Me

2008-12-04T10:50:00.000-08:00

For some reason, I'm incredibly emotional today. I didn't wake up thinking I was going to be rather emo. It started because I got pulled over by a cop on the way to work. Apparently going 15 miles over the speed limit is frowned upon. He then in a matter of moments instructed me how to remove the tint from my front window (illegal in Illinois, thank you Saturn of Naperville!). He walked back to his car to ensure that I'm not somc crazy on the run and returned to sob fest 2008. Poor guy, just trying to do his job and he encounters, "can I have your hankie" lady.
Once I finally made it to work (thanks to a lovely stress induced Whopper Value Meal) I began writing a series of devotionals on stewardship. Bam, there I am at my desk crying because I could never get an Elderberry plant to grow in my garden. What is that all about? I'm reminded of the time one of my girlfriends in college shouted, "get off your emotional roller coaster and get on a train!"
It's easy in the moments of stress to forget that God looks, not at the circumstances around us, but at the big picture. And, God has designed us to be in community in this way. Next time you start to think you are all alone, take a look at this video. And if you are in the youth min program at Trinity, don't tell Gary I stole his lesson before he even taught it!!!

CURF Confirmation Presentation

2008-12-02T10:18:00.000-08:00

I taught at Concordia, River Forest on Tuesday, December 2nd. I put a link to the power point I used for my presentation. Large group confirmation examples can be found at Trinity's website: www.trinitylisle.org

To the students I had the pleasure of teaching this week and to other students pursuing ministry: I pray that God harvests the leadership qualities needed for ministry growth. May you always strive to worship God through the gifts and talents he has given you. I pray that you ignite the fire of service in volunteers. And that you find peace, hope, and love in your future ministry.

Power Point:
Confirmation CurfConfirmation

Publish at Scribd or explore others:

Principles for Ministry to Children, Youth, and Family:
Children,Youth, and Family Principles

Publish at Scribd or explore others:

Parent Profile:
http://www.scribd.com/doc/8639987/Parent-Profile

Change

2008-11-25T09:51:00.000-08:00

I changed some light bulbs last night. That may not seem like a very wonderful thing, but to me, it’s the chore I loathe the most. For weeks now, I’ve been living in darkness, trying to find the motivation to change those darn bulbs. Yesterday, I boldly walked into the hardware store and when the clerk asked if he could help me find something, I handed him my gladware container filled with various odd sized light bulbs. He inspected them carefully and helped me find the right size. Before I attempted the chore, I fessed to friends that I would finally be rejoining the world of electricity and finally changing the bulbs. I think a few of them may have cheered at this small, but memorable feat for me. Or perhaps they were cheering that the mood lighting of candles would no longer be mandatory when I host them.

So last night there I was, I bravely removed the glass dome, hands shaking as I imagined the dome crashing to the floor, sending shards of glass everywhere. I pictured the delicate bulbs shattered at my ungentle touch. Fortunately, no glass broke. And when I tested the first set of new light bulbs on my chandelier, the light glistened reflecting off of everything. Then, onto my next light, I realized, two of the four new bulbs didn’t work. I hadn't notice at first, but once I realized the difficulty, I could not stop staring. Isn’t that just like life, I thought, you finally muster up the courage to tackle something and it isn’t at all like you pictured it?

I suppose I’ll have to call an electrician because the wiring is faulty or something. If I had known that, I may have never bought the bulbs in the first place. Or at the very least, I would have asked him to change them. The teacher in me lectures through this idea, at least I had the opportunity to step up and try it. But, the failed student in me is sad that my project failed to illuminate.

How we deal with our fear of change says a lot about our integrity as leaders. We can choose to live in darkness, never thinking to change the light bulb. We can acknowledge the burnt out lights, maybe even buy new bulbs, but never muster the courage to change. Or, we can climb the step ladder, remove the dead bulb and fill it with a fresh new bulb that shines brightly. Not every change will take, we run into problems and technical issues along the way. But, taking the step towards a brighter tomorrow is never the wrong answer. Attempting to change the bulb is better than living in darkness any day.

Spa, christian leadership, support

2008-11-22T11:37:00.001-08:00

Yesterday the female staff at Trinity treated me to a day of pampering and prayer. These women have been watching me grow for the last few years as a leader. Their encouragement and investment in me is priceless. I have been so abundantly blessed by Linda Bailey, my team of volunteers, and the other staffers at Trinity. If God can do this for me, the one who is to be serving, I can only imagine what He will do in the lives of those who are broken and hurting.

As a result, here are my thoughts as a young leader on what "baby ministers" need:
1) Doubt: I doubt my call to ministry almost daily. I'm getting better about this, but Satan has a strong foothold on doubt and fear in young leaders. The average 20 something male fears commitment like the plague. I fear commitment to ministry the same way. If you are a young leader, remember Christ is about freedom, not about the weight of doubt. Love drives out fear, just keep loving the ministry.

2) Public acknowledgment: I have a friend in leadership who was told by her mentor, "no one will take you seriously until you are 30." Well, I'm 26, so do people take me seriously or not? I think so and I think that is because my senior leaders have respected my call and publicly encouraged my leadership to the congregation. If you are a senior leader you should be constantly looking for ways to affirm your young leader.

3)Fire: As a young leader I am filled with passion, creativity, and fire. I will speak my mind and I will look at something old with fresh eyes. Fire fuels easily, but it can also extinguish easily. My biggest problem is not time-management it is energy management. Young leaders need to be intentional about refueling: emotionally, spiritually, and physically.

Babies

2008-11-20T10:06:00.000-08:00

I have a 90 lb mutt. I like to think he's the result of careful planning and consideration. Honestly though, he's a result of a little thing called, the biological clock. Many a times I've come to appreciate his need for my maternal instinct. It was spring and when I met him, I knew he was coming home with me.

Recently, several of my girlfriends have gotten pregnant. I scan through the pictures of ultrasounds and delivery. I look at how quickly these little angels develop and I catch myself wondering what it would be like if I brought home a bundle of joy. Then, I remember grad school, the multisite ministry plan for Fall 09, the independent never calling a guy my boyfriend again nature and realize that a baby is not in my 5 year plan.

A guy friend of mine recently announced that his best friend and mountain biking buddy is a soon to be dad. I wondered, I know what it does to me when a girlfriend announces her pregnancy, but what does it do to a guy? Will my guy friend feel plagued with the curse of the biological clock? Will he imagine coffee dates with strollers? Does he immediately calculate the nearest Carter Outlet to pick out the perfect onesie? I can't imagine my friend picturing himself holding a baby as a result of his wingman's paternity.

Why is it that male and female hormones are so different when it comes to babies? And are they really different or do women just act on them more openly than men?

Advent Conspiracy

2008-11-18T08:35:00.000-08:00

I'm generally not a Christmas fan. I've been called a Scrooge and other names because of my lack of enthusiasm for the day of our dear Savior's birth. Here's the thing, I don't think I'd adamantly hate Christmas if all we did was celebrate the birth of Christ. Instead, it's about what we want for Christmas and what we still have to do before the holiday. It has little to do with mangers and heavenly hosts announcing something great.
I've been like this since I was a kid, bitter at Christmas. I think it started when I was forced to sit on a strangers lap at a party and drink something called eggnog. They called this man Santa, I called him a creeper. At the age of 4 I already knew that a fat man who watched me all the time and took notes on my behavior for his naughty and nice list was freakish. Hey Santa, I think God can take care of watching over us in a much less peeping tom sort of way.
My mother noted that about me and never forced Santa, the bunnies, the fairies, or any other weird creature that is allowed in our houses in the middle of the night. For that I'm forever grateful. Some of my friends think I'm evil for not encouraging such fantasies. I think I'm going to keep my kids out of therapy because they wont have to deal with realizing the whole world lied to them because they were innocent.
Despite my rant, I'm actually excited for Christmas this year. Candy canes, evergreens, possibly even snow all seem a bit more cheery to me. I plan on making a donation to living water international (www.water.cc) instead of giving presents. It isn't that I'm being thoughtless. Last year, I gave my roommate a basket filled with goodies. She moved out a few weeks ago, the basket still unopened. She didn't need the basket or anything in it. The kids LWI gives water too, those kids will not wait a year to drink the water. They will not shove the well in the back of the closet or recycle the gift. No, they will get the gift of life.
The gift of life. Isn't that what Christmas is about? Call me a scrooge if you'd like when I laugh at you for putting little Santas on your wall. But, my laughter this Christmas will be filled with joy when I think about a kid who gets to live another day because she had something to drink.

2008-11-04T15:11:00.000-08:00

A good friend of mine walked away from the church shortly after high school. He walked away because he felt every Christian he met is a hypocrite and very judgmental. I told him, I can't stand most Christians, but if I judge them for being judgmental, I'm not any different. So, I choose to work for the church in hopes of changing the Christians I can't stand from within. For the record though, I'm a hypocrite too, to some extent we all are.
This video gives some good insight into what changes need to be made within the church. Maybe if every Christian called the judgment they cast on others what it is, the addiction wouldn't be so bad.

Fear Love

2008-10-25T10:17:00.000-07:00

This one goes out to the late night DJ.

I have no idea what it is about driving around at midnight. But, I find something special about being awake at the beginning of a new day. I say driving because one element that makes being awake this late is the radio. Maybe I’m just an inspired night writer or maybe it’s that DJ’s in the middle of the night know exactly what I want to hear.

I recently had a guy tell me he loved me. When I asked why he didn’t call he said, “I shouldn’t have to call everyday.” Something about a code and friendship. It ended in our agreeing that we needed to not talk for a while. I’m not sure how an argument caused by not talking is supposed to be solved by not talking; but mostly, all I heard was a boy in a man’s voice freaking out. So, I’ve been thinking a lot about love lately. I find there is this huge sense of fear surrounding a word like that.

I asked my good friend Luke how he was doing tonight. We had a good laugh as he said, “I’m seeing one girl more than any others.” The thing about Luke is, he’s incredibly afraid of commitment because he got hurt really bad early in the game.

Luke is like me. He loves easily. He just doesn’t call it love, even though that is what it is. He just happens to fall out of love as easily as he entered. But, he’s given his heart and the ones he gives his heart to, he never stops loving. I know this because he’s shared his heart with me over these girls. He rarely admits hurt. But, there is a tone in his voice that tells me deep within lies a romantic.

I’ve never heard anyone say to me in their final days, “I wish I said I love you less.” I’ve never received wisdom that said, “Hold onto your love, don’t commit.” Every sappy song about the end of life says I wish I’d loved more and cursed less. So why is it that so many people my age are afraid of love?

John, the one whom Jesus loved writes towards the end of his days: “No fear exists where his love is. Rather, perfect love gets rid of fear, because fear involves punishment. The person who lives in fear doesn't have perfect love.” 1 John 4:18

I leave you with that. If you are afraid of love, maybe it has to do with your trust in God. Maybe if we learned to trust God more, we wouldn’t be so afraid of loving each other. And if we spent less time being afraid, we’d spend more time actually loving each other.

Poem from Lauren

2008-10-21T15:21:00.001-07:00

One of my best friends in the world wrote me this poem. I wanted to put it up on my blog as my way of saying thank you to her. She's currently daring a life of adventure in Italy, taking a break from saving the inner city schools of Phoenix through Teach for America.

A friend who loves me
A friend who gives me everything
snack packs, love, and gratitude- a friend who never has and never will leave me
A friend I will know forever, but really know forever
not just a saying, but a truth
Cricket is a person who loves others
Even me- knowing my faults
She gives all, she doesn't judge
A friend who takes care
A friend who stumbles through life
Knowing who she is
seeking who she wants to be
and supporting me as I do the same
We walk together
Not side by side, but far away
together in heart
friendship over the phone
it that's the way it has to be
she will be loyal to me
Even when I try to forget
Our past and what we've experienced
She reminds me
that we are forever friends
sisters and companions
and she will remain
steadfast, strong in her beliefs
When I turn like a leaf in the wind
Searching for a shadow
Pursuing something invisible
She is the rock I will return to
Always
Steady
As the world turns and we grow
We move and change and progress
Cricket will be my friend
In the river, as the stream flows
around us-time-moving
inevitably flowing
we remain steadfast
Our bond is not easily broken
It endures. It will endure

If the world were 100 people

2008-10-18T11:57:00.001-07:00

If the world were 100 people:
49 would be male
51 would be female

18 wouldn't be able to read
17 would have no food
17 would have no water
53 would live on less than $2/day

6 people would control 59% of the world's wealth

1 would die of malnutrition

67 don't know Christ

My biggest vice is that I get so comfortable. I get so complacent I forget to look at the world around me. I have never been thirsty, or hungry, or uneducated. And, what am I doing about it?

Forgotten

2008-10-12T09:32:00.000-07:00

The word forget seems to be on my heart lately. One of our youth ministry volunteers used a phrase from a song, "Why is the forgotten so easily done." Why is it that forgetting is so easy?
Another volunteer and I team taught this morning on Grace. Yesterday as we were finalizing the lesson, he said, "what is forgetting? I think it is a change of heart." The beauty and boldness of that statement caught me so off guard I had to write it down on a post it to come back to later. I looked up the definition of forget and did not find that same explanation, though I can't think of any better way to describe what forgetting really is when it compares to the past, forgiveness, and moving forward.
Applying the two above definitions when it comes to me forgetting the love I have in my life, why do I change my heart so easily? Why is it all too often hard for me to forget the times I've messed up and so easy to forget the times when I am loved? How do I change my heart to live forever in the latter and forget the former?

Ode to Adrienne

2008-10-08T13:51:00.000-07:00

Dearest Adrienne,

You are a true friend. You make me aprons. I love my aprons.

But, you have introduced me not only to google toolbar, but recently gmail reader. AMAZING! My life will never be the same.

I love you.

2008-10-06T14:03:00.000-07:00

I believe in the creation story. This could be credited to my religious background or perhaps that frankly, the idea of evolution sounds bizarre to me. I guess the idea of God forming mankind in his own image is more appealing than phytoplankton and monkeys having mutant babies or a really loud noise in the dark. I believe God made the whole world in six segments and then created Adam. And, because Adam needed a “suitable helper” he created Eve. This is hardly the thrilling part, though I know many theologians who have spent hours deciphering these passages. There is a piece of this story that I overlooked in my learning as a child. A portion that my pastors failed to show me as a young woman filled with the burning desire to understand who I am and what is beyond the garden’s gate.

Eve had it good, she had the safe route. She had everything she could ever need. She had a nice man to look after her, so to speak. She probably had a medium growth 401K and refinance loan at a great rate. Perhaps she even had a hybrid SUV to combat the growing gas prices. I imagine that life was calm and she was content with Adam and their animal friends. Or, was she? Because there was one thing she couldn’t have. She wasn’t supposed to eat from one tree, “the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.” I never understood that part. Was that tree there just to taunt and torture her about what is beyond her reach? What is that tree’s real purpose? There must be more to the story.

So, Eve alone in her garden happens upon the snake. He seemed harmless enough. Maybe he offered her a nonfat latte’ and chit chatted about the great tomato crop that summer. But, the conversation twists; as they talk he invites her to try a piece of that mystery fruit. I can hear him telling her to taste it, to just try one tiny piece and she would be wiser, worldlier, more understanding of her garden. Eve begins to question herself, how could she live here all this time and never think to try something new? Eve knew the rules; she knew she wasn’t supposed to eat that fruit. Though something about that fruit pulled her in like a force. So what is it that lured her? She certainly didn’t need the fruit, but temptation doesn’t creep into our hearts when we are content. Why did she want this so badly? I imagine her twirling that conversation around her head so many times she could taste it on her cheek. Her heart and her head arguing about logic. The lust for that single piece of fruit growing like the wails of a hungry child. Nothing, nothing but that fruit could satisfy the craving!
I’ve watched many judge Eve for eating that fruit. I myself have fallen victim to criticizing her. I’ve asked, “Who did she think she was?” “How could she be so stupid?” “Weren’t the rules clear?” Eve took that piece of forbidden fruit. But, she didn’t take it because the snake tricked her out of living by the rules her father taught her. No, she took it because that snake offered her something that Adam never gave her. The snake offered her something unknown. He offered her adventure. He didn’t offer the safe route. He left her wondering in lust and doubt and hunger. That fruit tantalized Eve for the same reason the forbidden fruit still tantalizes women today. As women are born with the a vigor that we only discover when we are presented with obvious conundrums of fate.

When I think of Eve, I always knew I related to her as a sister in my history. I relate to all the goddesses featured in the Bible because my heart yearns to understand the stories these bold women tell. In all the times I read this story, I never realized that I am Eve. I am Eve because I know why she took that first bite. I know why that fruit tempted her beyond the SUV and the 401K.
I went to what I consider one of the most uptight Christian colleges in the country. Girls at my college joked about earning an MRS. These girls were content to share hymnals at daily chapel and set up double dates like "Mini golf." It was reminiscent of the Mona Lisa Smile staring Julia Roberts, only 40 years later. The boys at this school liked to tell me they could see my values. Most of them grew up to be mildly successful, mildly attractive, and mildly monotonous in all senses of these words. I wonder how far they were from Adam. Despite the advice of several girlfriends, I could never be attracted to them. There is nothing mysterious and forbidden about miniature golf.

In the same way that Eve just can’t settle for Adam and the garden she knows. I couldn't settle for those "safe" guys at college. After college, when most of my girlfriends married their beloveds, I set out to discover the wonder of what the forbidden fruit entails. I know the wonder lust Eve felt in her heart when that snake encouraged her to ‘just do it.’ I know how the snake captivated her with his stories of a life she had not yet explored.

I wonder, what thoughts ran through her head as she took that first bite of nectar? I know Eve faced consequences for her actions. I don’t want to minimize the sacredness of my ancestors’ beliefs. The mother of life changed the course of history that afternoon in the garden. But, could I just for a moment applaud her for taking a road that no one else tried? Can I just for a second relate to that desire to explore instead of judging her for not following the path that her safe Adam laid out for her?

I can only hope that I am brave enough to decline status quo and make choices that may alter the course of history. Eve set the bar higher for me with her story. She had a choice and maybe, to some she made the poor choice. But, at least she was bold enough to make the choice. I’m done judging the Eve’s of this world. I am Eve. I am proud to say that even if I fall; I fall knowing that I don’t have to wonder what if? I fall knowing that what was, is no longer good enough and I am brave enough to try. I am brave enough to step outside the lines that others have drawn in my garden.

CJ's of Evergreen, CO

2008-10-03T13:14:00.000-07:00

I'm in a Chicago style, hot dog stand in Evergreen, CO. How hillarious is that? I only ordered a soda, but smelling all that Vienna Beef has me craving my hometown favorite. I rarely call Chicago my hometown. I'm much too country for that. But, 8 of chicagoland addresses is starting to kick in. Maybe I'll make it to living there for a whole decade. Scary thought...maybe they'll issue me an award. I've done a lot of journaling about this said Chicago address of mine. My girlfriends tease me that I have a much too permanent address. Some believe I settled too quickly, awed by the permanency of career. Addresses are interesting thing. I realize that the postman uses my address to deliver my bills, a steady stream of credit card offers, and an occasional thought from a loved one. But, how much does my address say about me? Is it merely a mechanism for locating a point on a map or is it perhaps something more?

While I write this, the employed "hot dog stand guy" is currently sucking face with his midriff showing girlfriend; a few teenage guys cruise for their dream cars on public computers, and the news chats about Sarah Palin's down to earth approach at last night's debate. I wonder what their addresses say about them?

If I miss God's call, will he leave a voicemail?

2008-09-29T16:43:00.000-07:00

It has been one of those kind of months. When I say those, it's the kind of month when you take 2 days off the entire month because you are so busy trying to meet deadlines, you refuse to stop. Today is Monday. Monday is supposed to be my day off. Today is not a day off, I've been working for most of it. Recently, I've found myself yearning to run out the door of this place and never look back. But, in the way that God usually does, He says, "why don't you just wait it out?" So I stand at the end of what should be my day off and ask you, what’s next?

There are some brutal pieces to the environment I’m working in at Trinity. The hours are long. I’m often left feeling totally depleted and abandoned. I’m going broke trying to give as much as I can to everyone around me. I have very little for myself. I’ve caught myself clutching to anything life giving in the last few months. I don’t want to be the kind of woman who clutches at whatever she can get her hands on. No, God created me to be so much more than someone clutching and reaching. God created me to be the one who hands to those who are clutching.

I believe God is not a God of circumstance. I believe He is a God of decisions and calling. I believe He has called me to Trinity. So how do I create a pocket of greatness at Trinity despite the long hours and this overwhelming feeling of depletion? If greatness is a conscience choice, then I need to combine my heart’s deep gladness with the world’s deep hunger. My longing is to vision people forward and away from themselves.

Leadership

2008-09-25T08:04:00.000-07:00

I haven't been very good at keeping a blog. But, as I worked on 5 year goals this morning and thought about my desire to write. I decided, blogging is a free way to write and put my thoughts out there without any formal commitment. It's a stepping stone. Today is a new day and therefore the perfect day to start a new journal.

I've been doing a lot of research on leadership lately. I'll be starting my Masters in Global Leadership from Fuller with the next few weeks. I hardly feel equipped to be a leader and yet I find myself striving to be the best leader I can be. I'm naturally drawn to great leaders and often wonder why that is. Today, I spent some time this morning gleaning from CCC in Naperville. Jon Ferguson has been a big inspiration to my church and a lot of other churches. I wonder what it is like to work with someone like that. He seems like the kind of senior leader that cares deeply about investing himself in to the staff he works beside. I don't always see churches, particularly Lutheran churches investing in the staff they serve beside. So often, we are preoccupied with the work that NEEDS to be done and not the work that COULD be done.

Nehemiah, is in my opinion, one of the best stories God provides on leadership. Nehemiah's dream is to restore the wall around his hometown. This is much to the annoyance of Sanballot a neighboring leader. The Jews fear being attacked, but Nehemiah prays with the people and puts guards near the family. As the community stands in fear of rebuilding the wall fast enough, watch what he says to them about the tasks at hand, "Don't be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome, and fight for your brothers, your sons and your daughters, your wives and your homes."

Nehemiah reminds me to fight hard for my home and my family. Leadership is not always family friendly. It doesn't always give me time to care for the home God has helped me establish. But Nehemiah reminds me that God is great and awesome and wants me to fight for those blessings. God longs for us to invest in the lives of the people he has put into our lives. My hope is that I can be a reflection of the leader God empowered Nehemiah to be. So often I look at ministry as wall in ruins, evidence of past wars, wear and tear, noticeable cracks. Yet as God has shown through prayer and proper vision, we can repair the church. We can change the world. But, it will take some fighting.